Feeling tired after an afternoon swim at the nearby swimming complex....feeling vexed and scared inside now, though i wanted to rest before going to work, due to some comments which maybe i shouldn't had said or maybe it's too frank.....this sudden feeling of familiarization struck me, is this what's going to be like...like what happened in the past...really hated that feeling alot...comments meant to help or meant to hurt??Did it hurt or irritate or did it really helped??.....can't my mind just stop thinking...what's on her mind now....maybe cursing me for saying those comments....feeling sad that i didn't stand by her side...am i being too insensitive....too self centered....

........hoping she's resting well now...guess all i can do now is wonder...just can't get to sleep...maybe i should just eat my dinner now and go out somewhere to get some wind into my head....

~~~Feeling that a door had been slammed shut straight in my face....rubbing my forehead, with an old scar, feeling the pain again...~~~

For a very long time since i last blog....

.......i really love her alot...even with the thought tat she's the last girl in my life....i know she's angry over some issues....which i'm helpless about it.....but it somehow spark that certain fear in me....

Hoping everythings fine over at her side....that she had cooled down....back to her cheerful self...if she's reading this....don't feel bad about it....cause it's a phobia that's within me...something which i don't like and is afriad of....

Loving you as much...not wanting to lose you!