Returned to blog......
Recent days i felt like losing myself over matters,from mental to physical. Losing my own battle and digging a grave for myself, was what i felt like.
Till the day that i hestiated to even face that person, was the day i actually found myself once again. The day when my promise to that person was kept and fulfilled, was the day i felt a sign of relieve off my chest, a great burden of thoughts lifted and disolved into thin air.
Although i can still feel the existence of the thin air of thoughts and feelings, i rather things ended up in this finale then lose all that's great and meaningful to me.
Reasons are there for every little things we do, every small thoughts we have, every minor actions we take in our daily lifes and all the things that happen, in the blink of an eye. There are countless reasons for all matters, actions and thoughts or even feelings. But reasons are not excusses for running away from taking the right course of action.
Yet at times, i chose to run away and letting the regrets haunt me time after time, not knowing when i will learn to face them straight in my own reflection of cowardness. Learning to do so takes time and the strong determination required from myself.
Hanging on to the hope that one fine day or second that i will realise the true meaning of facing my own fears, being able to face myself strongly in front of my reflection.
Right now, i had made my decisons and taken my course of actions, may they be the right thing to do, may those decisions of mine don't disappoint me once again..........
Having lived 24years and 4days in total, learning to see others actions and their thoughts, made me a more tired, a less cheerful, a quieter, a less optimistic person. Even to the extent that wishes are no longer existed in my mind and heart, wishes are no longer important to wish for, thus not wishing for anything................
Glad to know that great friends still exist in my life, and those whom care about me, i thank them from the bottom of my heart, where that small section still exists...........
Tried to fulfill my last wish that i made, a few days back.....even to the extend of listening to the song you sent me and feeling the lyrics, to going to the place where i used to wait for you.........i had let go of you, and now you hope for a chance from me, a chance i know from the last day we last met, i will never allow. You are no longer the person in my heart, but the memories will forever be in my heart to stay. May you find a better partner in life and love him, love him the way that you hope to love me again. I'm not fortunate enough to recieve that love, the love that i always hope for when we are together. I do miss you.....
~~when will that last wish of mine be fulfilled will be a mystery to me~~
~~Funny how the mind and heart works, complex yet simple but a great mystery~~
Recent days i felt like losing myself over matters,from mental to physical. Losing my own battle and digging a grave for myself, was what i felt like.
Till the day that i hestiated to even face that person, was the day i actually found myself once again. The day when my promise to that person was kept and fulfilled, was the day i felt a sign of relieve off my chest, a great burden of thoughts lifted and disolved into thin air.
Although i can still feel the existence of the thin air of thoughts and feelings, i rather things ended up in this finale then lose all that's great and meaningful to me.
Reasons are there for every little things we do, every small thoughts we have, every minor actions we take in our daily lifes and all the things that happen, in the blink of an eye. There are countless reasons for all matters, actions and thoughts or even feelings. But reasons are not excusses for running away from taking the right course of action.
Yet at times, i chose to run away and letting the regrets haunt me time after time, not knowing when i will learn to face them straight in my own reflection of cowardness. Learning to do so takes time and the strong determination required from myself.
Hanging on to the hope that one fine day or second that i will realise the true meaning of facing my own fears, being able to face myself strongly in front of my reflection.
Right now, i had made my decisons and taken my course of actions, may they be the right thing to do, may those decisions of mine don't disappoint me once again..........
Having lived 24years and 4days in total, learning to see others actions and their thoughts, made me a more tired, a less cheerful, a quieter, a less optimistic person. Even to the extent that wishes are no longer existed in my mind and heart, wishes are no longer important to wish for, thus not wishing for anything................
Glad to know that great friends still exist in my life, and those whom care about me, i thank them from the bottom of my heart, where that small section still exists...........
Tried to fulfill my last wish that i made, a few days back.....even to the extend of listening to the song you sent me and feeling the lyrics, to going to the place where i used to wait for you.........i had let go of you, and now you hope for a chance from me, a chance i know from the last day we last met, i will never allow. You are no longer the person in my heart, but the memories will forever be in my heart to stay. May you find a better partner in life and love him, love him the way that you hope to love me again. I'm not fortunate enough to recieve that love, the love that i always hope for when we are together. I do miss you.....
~~when will that last wish of mine be fulfilled will be a mystery to me~~
~~Funny how the mind and heart works, complex yet simple but a great mystery~~
posted by Ah Jim at
1:35 AM
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