Haven't been updating my blog for the past few days to date. It's time i pen down some of my thoughts and the events that took place lately..........

Have been working my last few days at the food stall, sweating, enduring and tolerating everything and every word being said. Last few days, yes, yesterday was our official last operating day, as my dad decided to windup the business due to poor location and other issues.

Haven't been able to catch enough rest lately too. Though i'm tired, now i'm eager to look for a job, await polytechnic registration and finally....back to studies, pursuing my diploma at last.

Yesterday night, went down to town, metup with Kenny. He just had a tiff with his girlfriend....as expected, you two are together again..no comments on that, you like and love, is all that's needed to be said and heard from you. Anyway, i'm glad they madeup soon after.
Went down to Parklane, to have a session of gaming. Actually wanted to watch "Death Note", but due to Kenny's sudden anger over that issue, decided not to watch it.......hmm, sad, but hey, had a fun time playing Lan-gaming too. Afterwhich, we left the place around 3am, sent him home.....and went back home to sleep.

.........Woke up around 9am, morning call by Kenny, and followed by morning call to Huixian....next, received an sms from Ah Long, saying his not feeling well and his not joining me and Edwin for bike wash and bike shop.....called Edwin, no response.....went straight to Excel, got my Petrol Tank Cap fixed, got a bike cover......went home, covered my bike up....Know why?!
........Cause some idoits stole my "Levis Wrist Band" and my "Lever Cushion" from my bike, the other day!!.....Curse them for doing what they did.....worst still, i like that band alot!!!Fuckers really, curse you rascals till the 18 levels of hell and beyond!!!
.............."Think twice! Mind you guys, what if it's your property that other's vandalise?".......

Penny For My Thoughts
Feeling abit tired within.....reminding myself repeatedly, not to give up. No matter how tiring it may get, i had already came this far, how far more and how much more can i give? Only time will answer me on that......Kenny, please don't lecture me, saying i'm a "Mad Rider"...."Now when i sit on my friend's SP, it's like no kick!!"....thanks!....and "I'm going to wake you up soon bro".....as for that, i'm very wide awake and sober at what i'm doing, all this while. But seeing you back together with her, i too should lecture you....you know why. Then again, understanding why he made that decision, as we are all humans and it's weird and amazing of how the heart works!...........Recently, can't seem to walk alone on the streets or hang around some place by myself, feel so empty, very aimless and time seemed to have stopped ticking......thinking to myself, "how i hope i'm not alone........." "Loving with nothing to give but all my time, care and concern,with heart & soul....waiting to go back study...".....wondering when it'll be taken off my msn message........as for my thoughts, better stop here else it'll get very draggy....

......Going off to sleep soon, going for a jog later, i guess so?....nevermind, shall see how it goes when i wake up later on. By the way, someone please invent a portion, which can make people feel numb inside, wondering what's it for?.....to drink of cause!....LoL

Penny For My Thoughts
Met that someone, whom had been the one in my heart and had given me joys, sorrow and even hopes for a future together, yesterday night, at the place where it all started then. Noticed it's all in past tense, it had all became the past for me...just happy and sad memories in all. Finally, we met after our brokeup, and truthfully, the feeling is so different from then. In my eyes, even inside, just felt like seeing an old friend after some time...guess i'm the type of person who can't and will never tolerate lies being told.....to me, finding lies the same as no trust between two persons, which adds up to no commitment, not being truthful. But, i'm happy that she is getting on better than before, slimmer, as what she always wanted, better career...time for friends. You asked if i could chase you again....frankly, my heart tells me no, it broke once, hard enough, and i won't let it break again, by the same force that broke it then.....do hope she will move on, find that right person to lean on and care for love for, most important, to cherish him till the end. My feelings for you now are just the same as those for my friends....it had died, as i myself couldn't revive and unable to trace back, gone with the wind and stars...you are reading, do live life to the fullest and stay happy..........

.........Got a present from Ah Xian, i must say it's very cute and unqiue. Both of us didn't know it's body could be retracted within!LoL....liked it lots, don't waste money though i really like it lots. Got to save for your shopping spree soon!Hee...

~~~Enjoying all the nice times and company that unfold in front of me, not wanting to miss it and lose it~~~~

.........slept late yesterday, woke up early today....gave Ah Xian a wakeup call, went down for breakfast cum lunch, found out she's working 12pm instead of 1pm....rushed down to her workplace....LoL got there in less than 30mins?....went for a quick meal....chatted awhile and she's off to work...for me, i went down to Plaza Singapura. Walked around....went into Times and started reading bike magazines.....finished reading and went down to Vivo City alone....lots of vehicles and human traffic....almost made me faint.....it's damn huge for a shopping centre!!....thought went for a movie alone, though it's unlikely for me to do that, got to the cinema and checked out the timings....it's all selling fast for "Death Note", except for the 9pm slot. Feeling even more disappointed and bored, decided not to even bother queuing up as it's a very long queue. Left the place and went straight home.....hmm...hopefully the show still around when i got company and time to watch it.

..........by the way, wondering what's the good news that i'm waiting to hear....pondering....and that secret...mmm, nevermind, i shall know it later at night...LoL....

..........Downloading all of "Jesse McCartney"'s songs, although i don't know who this artist is, but hey the songs are great!...tuning in to them now....fabulous!

Had an eruption today, early in the morning.....with my dad....anyway, shall cut off the contents of it.

.....mid-day through, someone came along and gave me a complete shock....and made me laugh and smile as usual...and got a band from that someone.....thanks, glad and delighted....though it's not made by you...but it's the thought that counts. : )!

........will be working till 16th of nov....and i'm off to do my own stuffs, get my own part time job and await for poly life....feeling really bad inside, like i'm the worst person on earth....think i should be sent to mars....or maybe jupita??.....which is nearer???

.........anyway.....still feeling that way, though he said that he won't blame me.....sigh

Reached home, got a letter for reservist, 11th Dec to 19th Dec.....anti-crime duties......damn....hate reservist....ever since an "Ah Beng" in police full-uniform??....lol...

..........Going to meet my biker friend Filbert soon.....and later on, the special someone.....time to feel carefree....

After wracking my mind inside out, for the past few days....i decided to go for my own dreams and follow my interest...

I really got to thank Huixian for being there to listen to my ranting and also for the mind smoothing music, which helped alot....making me feel so relaxed....though you are tired from work, still you were there....it helped lots. With all that in mind, i finally wrote my thoughts down and left a note for my dad, after which, i went out, and all the while thinking of what the outcome might be.....and at the end of it all, a big relief when he replied, saying it's right to pursue my studies!.....seeing that smile on my face again....happy for all the support and help given by you. : )

Penny For My Thoughts!!
.........although i know the person really just treat me as a very good friend, i will never give up, not wanting to give up anything or anyone i cherish again.......asked by my friends, "so are you two together?"....."No, just friends"....."then why go so all out"......."I'm doing it cause i felt like doing it and i'm happy just by doing it, cause it's what i really feel like doing inside"...."though the journey is far, at least she doesn't need an hour plus to reach home, whereby she can have enough rest.."....."most importantly, i enjoy the company from her..."........alway believe in spending quality time with that someone in my heart whenever possible....whenever i can.....foolish but that's me....foolish Ming LoL....

So for now, i have to help out at the stall till CNY.....and off i go for my studies....3mths more to endure....waking at 6am tomorrow....

Wondering why i get to blog now?!.....cause i'm at home, bloody coffeeshop had a rampage earlier on.

Woke up at 6am....with bloodshot eyes....a lousy mood....washed up and went out with my dad to the stall.....just as we reached the expressway, it started rainning....and i'm having a running nose, with a tissue stucked in it....reached the stall, and this fucker got to create trouble with the "Kopi Kia"......started smashing every glass in sight, the cashier machine, the drink fridge, the glasses.....and he single-handedly flipped all the tables upside down.......claiming he is from "Ang Seun Tong".....and not to forget he smashed the glass panel of the furniture shop next to the coffeeshop.......because of a bottle of beer.....which he have no money to pay.....

.........seeing that, we decided to go have breakfast at the hawker.....while the police did their duties......returned and decided, how to do business....off till monday work.......so now i'm here, back home blogging......

.............had just lost part of my mind yesterday night...........everything had been adding up inside........and some just started coming in, when i thought it's gone with the wind.........why must the truths be so cruel...why must they be made known to me now................business' not good......not my interest................should i endure and give up everything else?............

~~~~~I should control the rate of my losing of mind......before i get into a serious accident........by the way, i didn't want to lose it....didn't want this part of the blog to be here.......reminding myself, i'm human.......i got a limit in me......the limit's reaching the top.........and i'm gasping for air now.....~~~~~

~~~~~Ah Xian.......thanks so much for enduring my problems......though i'm making you laugh, you are making me forget my troubles and making me smile......though for a short moment, when you are around, but it's a great relieve from all the thoughts.....guess i should just endure for the time being........his my father afterall......lastly, got to thank my "Softheartedness"......good or bad??.....nevermind.....i myself don't know......~~~~~

......feeling heaty still....after bathing, sitting right in front of my fan, at top speed, felt like vomitting at work, then next moment, i felt so hungry, ate a pile of mixed rice, yet i'm still not full....though i felt like eating...but stopped myself from over eating.....and now i'm feeling thirsty....and sweating still......blogging in sweat...=p

......did something today, went to get something, from Bugis Village in the hot sun, during my time to rest at the stall.....took me 10mins in total to get there, buy the stuff, and get back to my stall.....my dad was shocked at the amount of time i got back....LoL.....

~~~~~Before i decided to do the above mentioned....i thought..."If i were to get the stuff, you are bound to say...'why you go get it,etc'...."........but looking at the fact that i won't really get to do it in the near future, not wanting to regret not doing what i felt like doing, i finally took off....and bang!!....i end up getting it done....and though the response wasn't that good...."Hey, it was meant to make you happy....didn't mean to make you fret....i find that it looks nice, so hack it....got it, gave it, settled it"....and i finally gave the drawing which was meant to be given then...though not really done yet...contented...~~~~~

*missing my swimming sessions
*missing my kopi kakis
*missing my rides
*missing my jeans
*missing my hang out friends
*missing my favourite places
*missing late night outs
*missing air-conditioned places
*missing rotting sessions
*missing my peace and quiet
*missing my bed
*missing someone most
*missing Lots Lots.....missing things that i wanted to do, things i planned on doing...etc

...........maybe missing the chance to study again....missing my likings for designing....and the process of doing that project, which i was supposed to get it done....

Home.....suddenly felt that the world is so cruel....don't understand why some people react in some manners and say things that are so cruel and so irresponsible......what the hack, i myself has been through such bullshits and cruelty....one piece of advice to such beings on earth......"Please for goodness sake!!!!....think before you open that mouth of yours, and act in a responsible manner!!....don't take others for granted and think you are always right and others in the wrong!....Don't jump your gun on innonent people around you!!"...........

.......Anyway, had a so-so day at the stall....though business is worse than the day before....i'm going to stick to my dad.....be it worse or better....not going to let those factors affect our goals.....hopefully it'll be better....

.........heard that Ah Xian is sick, having not such a gd mood due to lots of factors, knows how you feel too....but, you don't choose for it to happen, it just did, so try not to be pull down by it....remember saying to be strong...i know you can make it....some things are just like that, and some people are the way they are.....do hope she recovers......and some peace given to her......sigh...."JiaYou ok??"

..............dad counting the gross profit today.....sigh, don't think it's good....but no chose...: )

......funny, i'm not that tired, just that my eyes don't seem ok, it's just red again....dots

....blog half way kana call to listen on how my dad do the accounts, explain to me like i don't understand......then do wrong still keep say right....talked back....tell him to just listen to me for once....fuck, think i so stupid?!....wanted to tell him, "Hey, accounts, money all you do then, don't tell me, no point.....since you find that i don't understand......".....but kept my cool and told him nicely......then just only, he understand that i know those things....and started laughing.....told him, last time as a bartender, i even got to do costing and even seach for missing amounts of liquor!!!....and i'm very accurate at it.....what a dad, stuborn at times......but glad to have him around as one!!.....unlike someone else.........not to mention the matter....

...........got a long cut above my left chest area.....don't know how i got it......felt the sharp pain while bathing.......and lots of burnt spots....from the oil.....frying 20 eggs in the morning......standing near the wok.........

..............don't know what i'm blogging about....very messy today.....by the way.....if you people said or accuse people wrongly.....PLEASE HAVE THE COURTESY TO APOLOGIZE!!!!!!

......long day at stall....more than 16hrs straight.....feeling tired?no......happy?YES!!!!big YES YES!....cause someone came down.....made me have a source of smiling...smiling and smiling....hee!!....Went to TB Park....played with the swing....chatted....laughed lots....with her little brother....find him feeling damn happy....lol....just too bad that we have to make a move....else i won't mind staying till damn late.....and YES the freaking time had to pass by me so damn fast....like the speed of light.....faintZ!......how i hope i could have the hands of time in my palms, having the ablility to control the time at ease.....stopping or slowing it down at happy moments......won't want to turn back time, cause moving forward is a good thing......but slowing down to enjoy those moments are more important to me.....cherishing all of it......that i'm able to......

.......Big thanks for turning up though you are feeling tired.....having not enough sleep.....: ))).....i shall go and sleep now.....leaving only 5hrs to sleep....OMG!!....what a new life!...LoL....

Back home from Ah Xian's workplace....maybe the last time there to accompany her.....going to miss the times there....the conversations, the laughters, the funny stares, the funny incidents that we talked about, the occassional singing, the stressful look on her face, the serious attitude when working, the occassional beatings, the foodcourt's charsiew rice, the curry noodle, the Chrisenthemen tea(Don't know how to spell), the mixed rice's potato and sweet and sour pork, the Yoshinoya's beef, terriyaki chicken, miso soup, coastlor(=P shit, how do you spell that?), peach tea, salmon, dried chilli, Mos burger's peach tea, supermarket's mineral water, 7-eleven's lemon halls...........not to mention the standing time.....the road to and from the place.....the usual parking space at the taxi stand......the escalators........

.........times passed by just too fast.....hoping it'll just stop or slow down today.....yet, it went passed us so fast.....think i will start to miss alot of times with someone, the things we do, the conversations we had, the sms sent out, the msgs in msn, the smiles on our faces and craps that we had, the knocks on my head, the fun on my bike, the chill out places that we went, the stay overs, the food SOR, the drawing session............the thought of getting to see that someone almost every possible moment of time that i'm able to......is really aching me inside.......knowing i won't have that much more of time on my hands anymore.......

.........think i got to force myself to go and sleep now, as i'm waking at 5am.....just only moments ago, yet i'm missing someone already....sigh, better stop here then.....else it'll be hell of a time for me tomorrow.......

Another day has begun.....made myself crawl out of bed at 8am...washed up and went to the stall with my dad....started talking again, which i did not comment back much....maybe not even a single comment back.....exactly, decided that i should just listen and do....agree with everything and do as i'm being told....

...........and it worked out fine, washing all the plates, etc.....cleaning the ligths, mopping the floor.....wiping the plates and utensils dry.....washing the pandan leaves.....taking photographs of all the equipments for future reference......arranging the plastic bags, etc......not stopping to sit down.....not commenting.....throwing the rubbish bag....feeling that i'm of some use....not feeling irritated and no anger in me......

Guess this will be my approach.....mind set on making the business bloom....no matter how hard it may be.....i'm willing to go through this hardship....being brought up through so much....i believe i won't fall without trying and doing my best......even if it's destined to fall....i will fall without regret.....

Knowing that there's people behind me supporting.....and also that someone else as well......i'm really glad and happy to know.....just want to say thanks to them.....and you....

~~~Early mornings and late evenings will be my life to come~~~

Woke up early today again....no need to go down to the stall....went to wash bike with AhLong and Edwin plus CheeMan and his GF....chatted and had a nice bike wash session....till around 1plus...went down to Upper Serangoon Rd, Bike LAB....accompany Edwin, he needed to change his brake hose.....got there around 2plus after going in circles as it's quite a "WuLu" place....injured my right leg in the process....some minor cuts....hmmm, once getting down there, me and Ah Long found our sits on two big sofa......and guess what, i felt asleep instantly, sweating in the process......by the time i woke up, all's done and they are leaving....Edwin got to go fetch his GF from work.....so me and Ah Long went to TBP for some "makan" at LJS.....ate to our heart's content....going to be 5pm...Ah Long got to go home to do some things, while i went home too, bath, and went out to acompany Ah Xian for dinner......

<<<<<...........Still no communication......sigh....>>>>>

Feeling as bad as before, reached her workplace, and went for dinner.....she too wasn't in a good mood. Ordered our food and started eating away....midway through, we started laughing away.....smiling....and i'm really happy and smiling.....really must thank her for those smiles on my face, even though she's not in the best of moods.....afterwhich, went to walk around....chatted...and it's time for her to go back to work....decided to accompany her, chat, crap, to past her slow-moving time at work....hmmm, guess time flies when you are enjoying....

<<<<<........now i know how it feels to be there alone.....tired from the standing.....although, i felt tired too....and pain on my feets.....i really had a fun day....and enjoyed going through the whole process......>>>>>

Time, 9.40pm.....knock off for Ah Xian....sent her home....guess recently, my speeding habit and reckless riding style had revive itself in me......think she got home in quite a short period of time.....same goes for me...anyway......Ah Xian....i know it's dangerous....but, riding safe will always be on my mind....sorry about it though.......shouldn't put you at risk......hope you like that breeze just now : ))......

.......Time to go to sleep soon....Heard your computer's not being friendly.....hope it'll be fine.....don't fret ok?....say CheEse!!!!.....

Ever felt like whatever things you do or try to do, turn out as more of a hindrance rather than a great help??..........

<<<Feelings are running wild inside of me, not knowing whether this is going to work out fine, feelings of being labelled "Useless", by myself.....not cause i want to or like to......wanting more of encouragement rather than the words that hurt me within, though not intentionally, ill remarks fly every time i try to be of help, to try and learn something new, knowing this yet those words still come shooting at me, as if im a target board, free for aim......sometimes, i just really wish people around me do take time to listen to my thoughts, why i react in such a way, not because i think too much, cause ultimately, it's cause i care about things or feelings, be it others or self.....finding it pointless, you always tell me....don't worry, go ahead and do it, i will teach you and you will learn in time to come......but the next moment, you start saying "why you put this there?!" "Why you take the wrong thing when i ask you take that one".....but it's what you tell me to do in the first place....that and not what you reprimand after?!.....is that the way to guide me???......even if im not useless, as my heart is pushing me to believe now, but you are slowly forcing me into that corner, that dark little corner.......making me feel so little and of no help to you!>>>

............went out of the house after being ticked off by you.....for something i tried to help.....without even a thanks from you.....went to fetch Ah Xian.....on the way, whack my bike there, feeling the rush in my blood.......reached too early though....sat at a corner, started smoking again....mind going through what had been said for the past few days......felt damn disheartening..........

............SMS him, told him my feelings, yet, the reply sounds so easy on his part.....am i not human to you?...can't you try to understand me better and show me your feelings too??...trust me, i do not wish to live in a world without feelings......the least of all feelings, my own parents!Please, it won't kill you to show me that little openness........sigh......Went to look for Ah Xian, told her about it, tried consoling me, thanks, it help abit....went out to Orchard, relax at Starbucks...NoT "StarFucks"....lol.....had "Ice vanillia latte" while she had "Java Chip Frap"....which supposingly was the other way round...: ))....feeling the coldness then, decided to go to Mac at CenterPoint......walked down, found that it's close.....so finally we left for Pioneer Mall Mac.......Zoom, whacking my bike again....found a table to settle down......ordered a large "Iced lemon tea".....started surfing the net on my labtop, which i brought along......Ah Xian started feeling sleepy and tired....and having little rest till work later, decided to send her home....afterwhich, i too decided to end the day going home to blog........and here i am....blogging.....

..................By the way, thanks for the cheering session....and the craps involved, really laughed my heart out....but when im alone, ultimately, the thoughts of what is happening now.....can't help it but feel that way....inside im still quite disappointed with self and how he reacts to things, or the way he communicates with me........

..................didn't say a word when i reached home....same for him, though he's awake....him lying there, me here blogging.......damn i hate this kind of communication......sigh, hope for a better day when i wake.....i will still keep trying to be a help rather than a hindrance.....do or die....i won't stop trying....how long can i take it??all the way???till the day i die????Hack, i won't know but just keep it rolling..........all the way!

Wokeup today,gave Huixian a morning call for her workshop......went back to sleep for a little while....feeling wore out....

......worst of all...wokeup again to see my parents quarrelling....damn it.....why does my mum like to give my dad those kind of fucking attitudes....thinking she's so good, everybody owes her a million.....still thinking like a small kid....naive and stubborn till this age........looking back at the way she treat this family......fuck!!!....she has no rights to say those fricking words out from her mouth!!......."you don't hire me, i haven't wash face, don't ask me do things....i don't depend on your money....."...........fuck this sentence!!!How the hell is feeding you?!Who the fucking hell,fucking idiot who took you in again when you came knocking on the door, the door that you abandoned for months!!??!!!Who are the fricking idiots that cried endless tears for your disappearance!!!??!!!............yet you are bitting back at those who thought you had changed for the better, who wanted to give you another last chance.......to be together...as a family.........but damned..........think you had destroyed every little last hope in our hearts........right now, my dad tells me about what he's going to do when things are on track........and i don't blame him at all......though it's disappointing....yet, you forced him and me, into it............where the hell would someone go around telling everybody living in the same area about......"i'm feeding him, he is depending on me, i work till very tiring"........fuck you!!!.......we are working like fuck for this broken family, full of scars!!!....you are working and creating troubles outside.....and spending it on someone else then!!!!..........what makes you think that it's right for you to say that sentence?!!.......you are NOT FIT!.......

..........coming home now, you still dare to give us that kind of fucking attitude face....thinking you are fucking right....and like we owe you!!....damn it.......what the fuck had we done to deserve your nonsense.....do you think i like seeing you all quarrel.....fuck!It's really making me burst.....i really want to shout out now........sigh.......fucking family i have........hate it....hate it to the core now.....really felt like going out...yet im feeling lost.......smoking again after so long......my brain's going dry soon.........im so fucking sick and tired of all.....showing you our care for you....yet you treat them like dirt.....big FUCK OUT TO YOU!!!!!MAY YOU CARRY ON LIVING IN YOUR FAIRY TALE LOVE WORLD THEN!!!!!!...........

~~~Sorry about this blog entry.....~~~

Feeling tired by the day.......don't know if it's mentally getting wore out or physically....maybe it's cause of waking up early in the day, which im not very use to now....but, guess i won't die from all those tireness.....

......back home now, after acompanying Huixian for consultation with the doctor....what a bad blister she got....hope it'll heal soon....feel bad for those feats of hers'. Realised my parents are still outside....most probably still at Orchard area....hmmm, feel so emtpy at home suddenly.....blogging now with my eyes feeling so sleepy.....

......before riding home, kind of got her little brother into trouble, so sorry about it.....if i knew that was coming, i would just leave straight.....although he's naughty but....hey, guess his still a kid right....anyway, i don't really approve on what she did.......but forget it....feel bad....

......checked my petrol, going empty soon....decided to ride down to pump petrol....thought i kind of miss the voiddeck....went to the Shell station there, went to the voiddeck....parked my bike like last time....sat there drinking Pink Dolphin.....didn't get those feelings anymore....realised i didn't really miss that place anymore.....like any other voiddecks.....knowing that, i took off home....

......went online, checked my emails, Irene had updated her blog again....took a look, hmm...."actually wanted to plan something nice with someone special, but no need anymore".....guess that refers to me....maybe i'm not fated to be with her....always thought i could change the outcome, but right now.....i discovered, somethings can't be forced......and giving in always doesn't help to solve the problems that arise......anyway, hope she can just do something nice for herself......glad that she's living life to the fullest now......

.............Filbert, asking me to go 99wan just.....told him i'm damn shag...think if i go, most probably i will just eat grass at the corners and corner down the slope.....lol....

..................Hmmmmmmm...sometimes, people are so weird....knowing they want to do something, yet, when the time comes, they just either run away from it or just stand there doing nothing at all....hoping that some forces can push them into doing it........doing what their hearts really felt like doing.....are they afraid of scaring party...or do they just care too much about how the other party feels.....thinking too much at times really makes humans look so stupid.....why can't it be like the Nike slogan "Just Do It"????.........why are my eyes still open.......lol.....however, think it'll be some time before i blog again.....will be shag out from business soon......

........parents still not home........feel so freaking weird and abit lonely........though it's a small house i live in........yet.....seems so empty without them around..........i shall stop blogging then........

~~~Guys who are having this kind of mindset should just find a hole and bury yourselves in, for the things you ever did to hurt others, for the words or sentences been ulter out from those brainless mouths, for those empty promises made and not kept, for the lies, lies that's not meant to be made up.....for the sake of self enjoyment and personal convenience.....causing hurt to those close to you.....and just taking off from the hot seat....making others to cool those seats that you heated and left for good....without the slightest sense of responsiblity and commitment, having one less of such, will be better than having one more!!!......~~~

.......feeling the injustice being played, explains why i bothered to type out the above quote of my own.....this are the kind of poeple i never liked....but the world is full of such...openning our eyes wide, is the best defense against all this bullshit.....

Waking up to be shocked by my own mobile phone's ringtone........

.......Felt even more tired after taking that short nap, felt hungry and thought there's food to eat....yet the great part was, my dad thought i not waking up, and decided to finish my portion of the food...lol....so i was left if a mooncake to eat...no choice ate the whole piece down in a flash....

.......Logged on to the internet, msn-ing and looking through items for sale on mp3/4 players and bike parts......chatting with my friends.....come to think of it, i'm going to be busy from later onwards.......for a better tomorrow, i guess.....hoping not to lose all others in the process....that's something, that most important thing, which i worry about now......

.......News that i can't be joining my friends to Bangkok....felt abit disappointed yet for a good cause and a fair enough reason.....can't help it i guess....hope they don't feel disappointed too....such a rare chance though.......but, sure there'll be other times and opportunities.

.......posted an Ad on the net, and i was surprise to get poeple sms-ing me and asking about the product....glad, cause meaning i'm able to dispose of the item that's a burden to me.....lol

~~~Feeling how i felt for the past few weeks, days, hours, minutes and seconds till this very moment and onwards.....never losing track with the hands of time and with reality.....keeping it true as it is......letting it take it's own course down the path of eternity....knowing it'll lead me somewhere, yet unknown what exactly it is that's coming at me in the end~~~

Home from coffeeshop, my dad went for drinking session with friends there.....went down to acompany him and chat with the uncles and thailand lady....damn funny session i must say!...

Went to bike shop....chat with the boss the mechs and do up my bike...after which, waited for my friend....then went down to bedok for makan......and another PGM rider....yeah...going to do up my bike for track....nice friends, to ride with chat with!

Next, went down to fetch Huixian from work.....went Marina south to eat and chat....hmmm, don't brood over what happen ok....like i told you just...smile more ok!....

Anyway, got to thank Filbert for coming all the way down to Marina South, in times of need!!

~~~Seeing you sad, will make me even more sad....i worry more about your leg though....my heart almost stopped beating the moment i saw what happened, not because of that, but cause of you........i'm still worrying about it now though.......but seeing i managed to cheer you up....kind of felt relieved....knowing you are staying happy as you are!: ))~~~

~~~Seeing your precious smile again on your smile and keeping it there forever....is what i hope for~~~

This is my favorite new piece of treasure i made.....LoL....eating up my cravings and burning a hole in my wallet....for a good use!The best part, it glows in the dark after absorbing all that sun light in the day.....

........just got home from a trip down to the NEA Regional Centre again, got the license applied....now big wait for the approval.....hopefully within the next week i get it. : )

Bought breakfast home for my parents....relaxing for awhile before going out to fetch my friend go work.....what a far place, if i'm her, and without transport, i will faint even before i even start work...LoL....bare with it though, at least you going to get the shopping money and the bike license money soon after you get your pay packet!! : ))

.......my dad asked me if i got enough sleep.....hmm, it's not about the amount of sleep i get.....it's how i spent my day, if it's a worthwhile day, i don't mind even if i don't sleep.....hey, dad this is a lifestyle i like and is used to already when i started doing night life.....if you ever noticed it...LoL....spending all my time doing what i like and with the poeple i want to spent time with!Anyway, i'm also used to his nagging about me not resting enough.....but i know he cares....that's my dad!: ))

......Going to go get ready soon.....

.......Yeah...went shopping finally after a long decade it seems!

Got to be a dispatch rider for mooncakes today...LoL....then afterwhich went down to my stall to collect the floor plan of the coffeeshop.....and then down to Bugis Village, for the shopping with Huixian. Went shopping around for her needs.....looked around and she bought herself a ring...heart shape(Unique) nice on her thumb...and before that, a black colored belt with a nice and unique bucker. Next, after looking around saw this stickers(Decals) shop....got tempted by her, and got a few pieces to paste on my helmet...keke.....afterwhich, she went around trying out the cloths and jeans,etc.....found a damn nice looking T-shirt....and guess what, the tag reads "Xian Xian"...LoL....perfect match!And then got herself a jeans that's just nice after trying out a few....and finally she bought this loose neck T-shirt(is that what you all call that?)...yellow....great looking on her,i must say!

.....and i decided to shop for a polo-T which ended up in a whole load of other T-shirts....which i say, Huixian, you have a great taste.....like those designs you choose!By the way, while trying out this Polo-T....the sales girl asked me a damn funny question, she asked if she could close the curtains for me....errmmm.....else leave it open??....LoL...very friendly person though.

After shopping happily....we went to have our dinner at the coffeeshop there....order tomato clamps spaggeti and cream sauce one.....oh...found out the tomato one tasted too much like raw tomato....and poor Huixian got to help me eat that plate instead.....so sorry about that....thanks!

Went down to Seng Kang to have a game of majong with Eileen and Kaisheng, no money involved, this time round.....throughout the game was laughter....LoL.....btw, Huixian, i'm not pulling a long face because i'm not winning.....you suddenly asked me the question regarding my blog....hmm...it's something i rather you never know now......

...........Every parents love and care for their fresh and blood....no matter how they bring out themselves towards them, be it attitudes, words said before, their actions at times, their nags at times, their indifferrences.....they really care about you inside!........

........anyway, it was a great day out shopping and majong! : )

~~~Being human beings, sometimes some matters are kept within one's self, not knowing where to let go, how to do so, without affecting others and not wanting to hurt others, yet hurting self in return and doing so even when known it'll be a big regret if kept untold and undone,unfulfilled~~~

Home after a disappointed trip down to the NEA Regional office in the morning.

Supposed to apply for the food license, brought every documents down with my dad. Yet, when we reached there and approached the counter staff.....was informed that we need the coffeeshop floor plan for the application....sigh....called the owner, yet he can tell us that he may have it....my dad told him he better have it given to us by tomorrow......

Disappointed as we are, went down to Henderson market for breakfast and to check the Yong Tao Fu store.....damn the owner there, so proud and arrogant, decided not to get the stuffs from her......finished eating, sent my dad home.....while i went to get the documents photocopied....and went home.

Reached home, started to take photographs of myself with short hair and moustache and beard...i'm not that ego actually, just bored....LoL.....heard someone cooking briased pork legs!!!Omg!!....so tempted by it, plus it's cooked by someone.....my oh my....not for sale....hmmm....never mind that.......Zipped.........

Listening to songs, and relaxing self now....recently i found that i don't have much temper....or can i say, none....maybe the issues that made me boil lately, had already sort of disolved.....or can i say.....took a turn....

........don't really know what to write....ok then, shall pen off here.

Home from a game of majong with Kaisheng, Eileen and Cindy.....wow, i finally realised how Cindy felt the other time round, though it's not as bad as hers. : )....Anyway, had an enjoyable day overall.....

Rounding at 99WaN, in the early hours..........

......met filbert and Christopher at Clementi for drinks and food first, next we chatted awhile and headed down to 99WaN.....whacking through the tight corners, rounds after rounds.....and i almost hit head on to this Subaru.....but it was damn fun....as Filbert was riding his PGM4 and Christopher was riding his SP....me with my RVF.....damn nice to see his PGM4 doing those corners....and the bike was done up fantastically!....after playing for a few rounds.....we deicided to chill out at ECP...reached there, ate McNuggets and drank milo.....talking cock and about bikes.....

..........left the place around 5plus in the morning.....having had a fantastic bike outing with them.....

Feeling not weird now.......just feel that i have to decide on something, i ****** ****** **** *******....but yet i don't want things to go wrong if i decided to *** *** about it.....also not wanting to **** this ****** and ******.....maybe i just think too much.....but i'm not,it's how i feel now...........

~~Got to wake up early and go for application of NEA license later......going to go catch my sleep now......looking forward to seeing her.....feeling her presence around me, just makes me smile~~

Feelings feel the air around me......

.......Being with the most important someone, irregardless of the things we do, the amount of time spent, the funny games we play, the sickness....the place and every little small things....many many more......is just so meaningful and heart warming inside, tireness overpowered by the joy and small little concerns......it's just so simple and unpolluted. Feeling that fortunate to be able to meet that someone.....

Finally, feelings feel the inner circle of me as well.......making me want to really make my career a bloom, even though i'm a beginner in it, i will strive for the best of it!

......having a very bad cold, blocked and running nose the day before, not knowing i caught it where.....maybe it's cause of my sudden stop in my bad habit.....but thanks for the concern, though as a friend, i'm really contented.....knowing i kind of passed it on.....just made me feel bad, hoping you will feel better later on in the day.....

......although i'm thinking of you now......

......being very clear that what's my priorities, career and personal issues are weight equally....knowing when to play hard when to work hard and smart.....

When my career starts.....the times spent may not be as much, but one thing is for sure.....i will never forget you or the feelings i felt and feeling still......

~~~Everyday, i fall deeper and deeper, every hour, i feel more, every minute, i yield for more of it, every second that pass me.....i feel happier yet the missing builds up within, hoping that the seconds won't move~~~

Home......from a wonderful and memoriable sunday....

....wokeup, when over to Huixian's house, not by my bike, but by MRT....holding that special present that i made for her....since nearly 1mth before her birthday, praying hard it doesn't rain on my way to the MRT and keeping it safe from the human traffic. Sitting in the MRT train, ignoring the stares people give, knowing that i'm doing what i feel is the right thing to do.....

.....as i reached Boonlay stop, got off and went down to her house....think i gave her a shock in regards to the present....deep inside, i feel so damn happy to see her that delighted and smiling brightly!! The effort from making it, to bringing it over, to seeing her smile on her face.....it just made me melt inside...remembering every seconds of it.

.....afterwhich, went to get 4D at JP....i decided to queue up while Huixian went for a haircut at EQ.....so after getting the 4D tickets, i went up to the EQ place.....saw her inside having her haircut, decided to wait outside......a sudden thought made me ran into John Little's store to get her favourite perfume, and waiting outside the EQ shop.....waiting eagerly for her to come out.......hoping to give her a surprise, turned out not much of a surprise.....but i'm glad i did it, doing it cause my heart felt like doing!

......walked to a nearby shop and bought ABS Vodka for the steamboat dinner later.....walked back to her house and waited for the rest of the guys and gals to arrive for the feast. Started the feast soon and started eating and cooking and drinking, chatting and joking......soon after finishing, we started playing majong....for a few games before most of them left, leaving me Huixian and Mel.....started playing cards with her little brother....damn funny....

.....will never forget this moment in life....feel so like an idiot, as with my nickname in msn now....lol, didn't know humans are that bad.....i'm human too, why ain't i as bad as you?...knowing the person i love most now, is being hurt in a way.....what the hell.....why did i even bother to congrats, felt a sudden blood rush to my head and heart......stopping it for a moment.....then....hearing the comforting words spoken, made me cool down.......

......hoping that the time don't pass us so fast, the moment you rested on my shoulder....the hugs....the long ago hugs that i long for again......but didn't dare to just now.....really miss them.......

~~When infront of me, there's no need to hide your tears, no need to feel shy, no need to feel awkard, feel what you want to feel, be yourself, let your tears control you, i will be there to see you through~~

A Saturday night out with close friends..........

......Met up with Haiquan at cineleisure, went finding a toilet for his urgent need to dispose of his hazarous materials. Found a cubical without a lock, and he had to be superman for 10mins!!LoL!!

......After his ordeal, we chatted while waiting for Shirun. Went down to parklane as we decided to play Dota, but didn't manage to get the coms....waited outside and started crapping as usual, laughing over it....great friends i have, great company. Waited till we kind of got bored and decided to go to Mr Bean for some drinks and finger food.....sat down and decided on what to eat....so we called for the waiter, and Shirun started to talk in a damn funny manner to the guy....LoL,laughed our hearts out....can't stop joking as usual!....

......Afterwhich, we walked back to the game shop and damn, to our amazement.....the staff was so blur and didn't even know which coms are free and which are not.....disappointed with the service, we decided to fuck off from the place.....miss those great staffs there before this guy....walked out and realised it's drizzling already......so i made a move home....ending the night.

~~Sentosa's sea water is getting bad to worse!.....those bites i got from the past few outings there, damn are they itchy....got to endure them.....making me pissed off at times.....trust me, i won't swim far anymore in that kind of sea....lesson learned!~~

~~Got to wake up for a soccer session later....then after that it's time to take a ride on the MRT....think it's been a year or all since i last took one...~~