About me........

....a normal average guy next door, with my own set of problems and difficulties, be it family related or my personal life and friends. Not knowing what lies ahead in this narrow path in front of me. Living everyday, trying my very best to smile my way through the obstacles laid in front of me.....and at the sides...giving me no chance to run away from it.....braving through them....facing them and making decisions that might had already cause me some regrets.....falling into humans' most common trap.....the trap of love....and not being able to climb out of it....realising that it's not total physical looks or contacts that made me fall deep.....never had cared about the physical aspects much.....softhearted as i am, giving in to people around me, not wanting to hurt them.....not wanting to compete, seeking peace in my mind....may be a disadvantage to self, yet it's been so since i was ever able to love....and it's staying that way....believing in this "Love is blind, Whats meant to be will be, No point forcing". Strongly believing in "I rip what i put in", committing all that i can to anything in life.....hoping not to be hurt again in love....putting my whole heart in......

Guys are only in for the sex in relationships......this is not so true, it's not the whole world, it's not everything in life...it's only a small part in life....what's more important is the commitment and the care and concern that's rare.......rare as it is.....it's still around....someone will provide all that without the sex in the topic.....only issue....don't ever fool with the person's feelings, bad people are never born bad......vice versa.

.....loving a person as who he/she is......hoping to be loved the same way round......

~~Feeling bored now, that explains the crap i wrote above.....lol....not completely crap, but it's worth the thoughts.....~~

Why you?...because of lots of things and factors, which i had said out when you asked, saying out that's genunie from within....holding no lies....hoping it cleared whats on your mind....no matter how plain that answer might be to you or how simple it is.........that's a answer truely from me and how i feel towards you....

.........home from a boring movie, with a lousy storeyline....."Haunted Apartments".....comments on this movie is a big "NO WATCH"!!.....Save up on the cash on something else better. Feeling tired....with a uncomfortable stomach....and without nicotine for hours.....almost a day now......passed the day going to the beach,suntanning, soaking in the sea.......eating eating and eating since the start of the day.....then went cineleisure for Sushi!!....Great.....liked it lots....,rotting at MSouth for awhile, movie starts ends and lastly rotting for awhile again....lol

.........can see that you are tired, may you rest well, enjoyed the day lots. Will miss the times!

Home after a tiring day in the morning with my dad, conducting interviews and commenting on the contract for the shop lease.....although it's hard in the beginning, i strongly believe that i can learn the ropes fast.....hoping i can be of help to my dad.

After the long tiring session in the morning till late afternoon, i went for a haircut, and got a short haircut done.....felt uncomfortable at first.....then went to pickup Huixian from
Clementi, send her home.....after which we went down to meet Ah Long, went to Mustafa Centre, next, we went to geylang to eat the famous Zha You Tiou....damn it was nice....however, Ah Long got to go home after the makan session, so me and Huixian decided to go catch the movie "Haunted Apartment" at Cineleisure.....

So, straight we went down.....midway, we decided to check out Lido,so i parked my bike at fareast area......walked down to Lido, and found out it's closed.....so we walked down to cine, went all the way up to the 9th floor and discovered that the show is not on the list.....OMG....feeling disappointed.....Huixian had an idea.....first it was pool......finally it was KBox....haha.....so ended up singing K from 11plus till 3am....funny and happy moments....enjoyed it much though i seldom sing.....can't sing well.....

Last stop, we went to eat at Clementi coffeeshop....and ended the day,sending her home....and travelling home.....Very happy evening spent!

........Later got to wake up at 8plus.....going down to check the agreement and stuffs.....shag....but worth the effort and tireness!!

~~Thanks for saying that my haircut is nice....happy about it now.....lol.....asked why i cut?....hmmm, how do i put it......i just really felt like getting it cut : ))~~
Got to have my own confidence level back right?
...........really will start to miss your company when i get busy......your smile,laughter and everything that's so you..........dread that day to come....

Having slept for 12hours....waking up to another day, starting of a busy day, week or even months ahead. Going to start going full force out soon. Will miss the times out with friends, close friends.....Will i be alone again?...im not sure, unsure of what might happen, unsure of the road ahead....hoping it'll be a better one.....hoping that my decisions made in the beginning were the right ones, the words i said were the right words.......ok, got to go prepare for day out.

....Feeling tired but having past a wonderful and funny night at the chalet, i've finally reached home...**Loving you silently and trying to be by your side always,
....as usual, i checked the status of my driving license, up to date, i'm still safe....praying that it'll stay that way till mid October....wanting you to be happy,
But guess if it's the worse case, i have to face the music eventually, as it's my own fault. : ).... hoping you find the right happiness, care and security.... even if it's hard on myself,
Admitting and learning from one'e/own's mistakes is what's important.....not blaming others for my own actions taken or words said... i don't mind, no motives, no anticipations, just my feelings for you.... knowing it's near impossible btwn us.
~~Feeling sleepy now......don't think i can sleep much....going to go out soon to see another shop...when will we strike it?....faster before i lose faith in all....~~I'm glad being a close friend to give you my fullest support possible.Don't worry too much, the path will open up one day, clearly.**

On the very verge of losing my right to ride.....losing my most treasured passion.....losing my cool....losing my mind....pondering and pondering over the same fucking issue....can't anyone tell me a more comfirm or definite answer to my questions.....blame myself for doing what i did....no one else....losing it, is almost the same as losing part of my life.....damn it...feel so vexed now!!....just finished washing my dream.....looking at it, makes me sigh and sigh deep inside....feeling like a complete idiot, looking back at my foolishness....even now as i blog, i'm feeling fucked up......why can't my mind stop thinking!?!....SheeeKS!.....................................................................

..........................can't imagine life without it, without my passion for it......

~~Hate my actions, hate my luck~~

As usual, i had sort of finished my Saturday out with friends.....doing almost the same things as before.

It's something nice and comforting to be able to hang out with friends.....good and close ones.
Earlier on, went scouting for some food business together with my dad, seems that some process maybe on the way.....hoping it will be a good turn of events.
Afterwhich, went to parklane as usual for a game of billard with Ah Long.....lost 3-2 to him, footing the bill and leaving the place....met Willip, seeing him gives me the pressure. He's getting ROM soon, happy for him. Chatted awhile and went to meet Ah Teck and his frend.

Not knowing where to go, we parted ways. Me and Ah Long went for dinner at bugis 1st....after finishing, i sms Ah Teck....and he told me he's going home.....hmmm....he seems to be not himself??I'm still feeling weird about it.....nevertheless, me and Ah Long was stuck at bugis on our bikes thinking where to go.....and Ah Xian msg and said she don't feel like being home, so WAHLA!Next destination..........Labrador Park....been years since i last went there fishing with my parents and my elder brother.....sigh.....

Went up to the hilltop and sat there, enjoying the peacefulness, the cool breeze, the lame jokes and certainly the funny games that Ah Long came up with.....thanks to those Taiwanese Variety Shows!!!LoL......however, the cool breeze started to blow just abit too strongly and we decided to make a move fast.....as always the sky is going to sob again soon...so it's home time.....

~~A night without stars in sight....windy and cold.....dark clouds above.....covering the smiles in our hearts.....~~

Another not so fine day, over at Huixian house, as we intended to cook curry chicken.......firstly we went down to JP to get our chicken and ingredients, also to look around the place.

After getting all the things that's needed, we proceeded back to her house to do the cooking. However, someone got into the picture, and guess it sort of piss Huixian off........so i was left to do the cooking with that someone.....not to mention who. Just can't seem to know what's missing from the curry......seems too salty.....but damn, only after it's done that i realised it's not sweet enough....and the curry not thick enough....but then again, if there's a second chance at it, it'll be better.... :))

And yes, this is the rare moments in life that i see Huixian that pissed off.....hmm, sort of shock and lost for words, wanting very much to be able to cheer her up, yet not knowing how, keeping silent, but then again.....Ah Xian, think happy thoughts ok, dun let the unhappy thoughts pull you down.....Anyway, i kind of enjoyed the day despite the sudden change in moods.......enjoyed the shopping at JP....the lame jokes.....the moments.....the day just as it is, being with someone i feel comfortable with.

Now, come to think of it, i'm not pushing anyone to his/her limit here...i'm just being a friend, someone who can be counted on, being myself, not wanting to compete with anyone.....including you!So, i hope that person won't feel and think in the negative way........

After eating what we cooked......was learning basic theory time for Huixian..LoL....you can make it, can't wait till the day you enroll in it. Soon after, she played games on my labtop while i did some drawings.....felt blank, not knowing what to draw....end up drawing 2 types of butterfly....stopped drawing finally.....looking on the way Ah Xian play games.....kind of funny yet something you don't see often, glad to see her smile again..

Growing tired from staring at the labtop.....i decided to make a move home for a rest, bidded farewell and left. Reaching home, thought i blog all this down, and now i'm quite awake....

By the way, if anyone reads this blog, DON"T SPEED lately, damn there's so many TP Mobiles around, just went passed two on the way back! : ((

~~Feeling happy and forgetting the pain from my leg till the moment the water hits it.......ouch!It's hurts....but don't blame you, it's not a big deal. Don't feel guilty ok. If you feel guilty, then smile more and you will be pardon by me!~~

Just got back from a sunny day at Sentosa with YS..........

Been awhile since i been there with him, got there at around 11plus, laid down the mat....started our suntanning process.....lol

Lying there,listening to music and reading my bike magazine while he read his novel. After awhile, we went into the sea to get a cooling soak in the hot sun, relaxing.......
Played awhile of 2 person's volleyball.....fun, he felt tired on and off....but entertaining, missed the days when a big group of us were there playing in the sun. Next, we decided to buy some chips and beer to enjoy in the sun.....chatting and enjoying the sea view.

After suntanning for half a day, we decided to pack up and end the day of suntanning.....went to washup and ZooMed......we are at harbour front bidding goodbyes.

~~Feeling happy today,yet a sense from somewhere that im missing something, trying to shake it off my mind.....ok,next up for the day....Alvin what time are you going to meet me?!!....damn you are still online.....busy mode.......it's almost 6pm....ok make myself busy then....~~

Home after a fun and entertaining day and night of laughter and sight seeing, feeling tired and wore out, but decided to blog first before i knock out.....

Went over to Ah Xian place to help out with dinner, cause she's cooking "Ah Xian Hor Fun", special type, never seen on the market before...lol.....Anyway, i didn't help much except for peeling and washing the prawns and washing of the plates,etc.
I wanted to cut the "Sotong" but she don't let.....hump, oh yes, she can cut the "Sotong" in a nice pattern....came out nice after cooking it...: )) Taste great!!...Ah Xian, nice cooking ok! : ))

Afterwhich, we went down to Mustafa to meet up with Ah Long, and started my perfume hunt. So sad, the brand i was using was no longer there, despite so many antique perfumes there!Started spraying here and there....man!My whole hand stinks from all the perfume, same goes to Ah Xian....Lol. Finally, decided to get a different brand to use...."Dunhill X-centric", better smelling from the rest.
Next, we toured the food section, finding lots of products that's not so common in the open market,some extra large products too!Think maybe im a mountain tortise, anyway, me and Long was like "WaH" here and there.....so amusing!
After much touring, we decided to buy 2 tub of icecream(Vanila and Choc & Chips), 2 Nata De Coco, 1 Longan and red dates drink, and 3 metal spoons.
We also realised that Mustafa got lots of things to be discovered.....example the books section, had a mini english test there too.......lol

Soon after getting the stuffs....we decided to head down to Marina South, one of our favourite hang out place. Reached there, finding all the lights switched off, dark looking. As we sat down starting our feast, the cool sea breeze was blowing non-stop,great feel. After finishing our fill, we started chatting....laughing....i went to have a sit at the barricade near the sea....face facing the sea and the sea breeze blowing in my face!.....Closing my eyes,letting go of all my thoughts,i could feel a sense of relaxation and ease of mind, listening to the music of the wind....the feeling was unbelievable.

After much chatting and relaxation, we all went to have a game of bowling.....my fingers hurt. Played 3 rounds:
1st round winner=Ah Xian 114
2nd round winner=Me 139
3rd round winner=Long 107(can't really remember clearly) =p

Next up, Ah Long brought us to Tanjong Pagar Railway Station for morning breakfast, cheap and nice food. Followed up is Mount Faber. The road up is really steep, thank god i'm not riding a SP already.....else think i'll endup rolling backwards down the steep slope LOL!Got to the view point area.....the scene was fabulus and windy too!Stayed for awhile, enjoying the scenery and breeze.....Final stop, Telok Blangah Hill, got up to the place where people get their ROM photographs taken......nice view too. After, seeing that it's not that early anymore, decided to go to one last place before going home, went down the slope without starting our bikes.....great way to ride!!
Went to a flat at Telok Blangah Crescent, went up the block, we found out it's not the right block.....Ah Long, when u remember the block, i will ask u bring me there!!!
Having a tiring day, we took the lift down from 16th floor.....Ah Xian discovered that there's a sticky sweet in Ah Long jacket....yucks, haha....she was wearing it, and made that fine discovery that Ah Long didn't even know....luckily there's wet tissue from him.

So after getting cleaned up, we made our way home, me sending Ah Xian, me riding home again....think i will not think of what had happened earlier on, will happen will happen.: ))

~~Made a decision that i hestiated to make since. I will not let that happen, you know what, but i will not lie to myself, lie to my heart.....time to rest, knowing that i will **** *************** *** *** from now on.~~

Waking up to another wet and cold day, you never fail to make me come down with a cold, leaving your tears scattered around the small island, Singapore.Having slept only for another five hours, i'm awake again, sitting infront of my labtop, blogging, downloading mp3s, with a tissue stucked into my running tap, hugging my pillow.Guess that my swimming session got to be cancelled again due to the fantastic weather.

Think i shall continue on where i left off, after i finished blogging.Had a robotic day yesterday, went to Shirun's house to get some matters done, been working on it since. Although it seems a long and tiring process, it will all be worthwhile, after slogging it out till late in the night, finally got something we planned for, done. A form of self satification indeed. Went for super after that, finished the whole chicken chop, yet i don't feel full. Worst of all, i suddenly forgot one of my friend's chinese name.....luckily, finally remembered it....LoL
When home straight after the super, bath and i'm infront of my labtop again.....crapping with Huixian, think i'm really tired.....forgot some important memories at the moment....anyway, couldn't sleep yet, around five plus in the morning, cause my dad made me a cup of coffee...after Ah Xian went to sleep, i'm still wide awake....going through the web,looking at videos on "Popping".......wow, their dancing moves are awesome, fantastic.

Finally around six plus, decided to drop dead on my bed....as i decided to go swimming at eleven plus....but thanks to the weather, no swimming today. : ((

By the way, i'm not adnormal, maybe just that i don't want to waste my time, sleeping it away,since i'm on holiday now....ok, i shall go continue from where i left off then... : ))

As usual, i'm wide awake now after only mere hours of sleep, enough to make me feel refreshed and energetic again......started my labtop and decided to blog down my thoughts and feelings....

Right this instance, i feel like "How i wish i could turn back time"........meaning of it anyone?
No definite right or wrong answer, no good or bad outcome, depends on how every individual's thoughts and mindset. To me, turning back time, there's tons of to change, actions to be taken, words to be said, initiative to be taken, moments to just step back and cherish, goals to set, advise to be seek and taken into considerations, dropping that precisous tear when it's meant to be seen.......telling a person "I Love You", from the bottom of my heart, not fearing the outcomes or the stares from others around.......silent love, a kind of love that's not meant to be shown, only to be showered upon, not to be returned.

Telling myself this, "Is this my life, the life i want to lead, the path to be taken as it is now?".


Not knowing when the silence will be broken, only knowing the hard fact, time can never be turned back, only to be shown in the back of my mind, not knowing what the front may lead to, i'm knocking on doors, and at times i'm skipping doors infront of me, closing those behind me.........
Will things ever work out in my instance,why do i keep hoping for others and not self!!!Starting to hate myself for being such a coward and a loser!!!Daammn...... -.-"
Dearest weather.......why are you feeling down again as you are yesterday?.......i miss the sunny side of you, rather be scorched then being drenched, please stop tearing so much and start shinning!!

Out to my English teachers' house then.....hope it's not another 39hrs of life without slumber!LoL....well, i don't really mind it though.....Don't rain!!!!!

My bed had been laid out even before i was home few hours back, right now it's still intact on the floor as it is since then.....had not laid down on it yet, i'm definitely tired and worn out, wanting to sleep desperately, but something in me had been and is still controlling every bit of my actions since, keeping me up and running till now......where i had decided to blog down my thoughts now before i lose the parts and parcel of them all.....

Hands had been doing the work since i had returned home since early morning, before my Dim Sum with my parents at Yum Cha......eyes wide open, mind clean as the sky now.....work work work....working, went for Dim Sum as usual, ate alot....drank chinese tea.....rode to bugis to search for what i was looking for.....back home in a flash, continued to work on what i had left off......listening to my trance mp3s, drinking plain ice cold mineral water.....taking just a puff since morning......

Now, after blogging all that down......supposed i'm going back to my work now.....few more hours till my meeting with Joyce and Huiwen.....afterwhich i shall be back to carry on from where i left off.....

~~Please i'm just being myself, wanting to do that bit of whats left in me, to make a difference in another's life, hope i'm not being too foolish here.....i know i'm not, cause i'm happy doing it and i will be contented once i'm done, regardless it's of any help~~

Feeling wide awake from the long night out, reaching home after, sighing at the fact that i'm home again. Not because i hate being home, but the fact that i miss the times out, seeing that smile that could brighten my whole day, the laughter that lingers in me still, knowing that the problems are still lingering still, deep in that person's mind, preventing those smiles and laughter from emerging freely.

Deep within me, my heart, or soul they call, i feel delighted, happy and contented just to see those, able to be a companion, being there.

Going to have a Dim Sum session again with my parents later on, hope i don't fall asleep on the dining table. I could just catch some rest now, but choosing not to, staying up to think of the lingering thoughts, not wanting to put an end to it, not wanting to wake up and lose that feeling. Weird but true enough, i treasure the feeling.

...........feeling tired by the seconds, yet im still keeping vigilant and awake, not wanting those sleepy eyes to shut, making my fingers do the walking on my labtop, typing what they want to say, what i want to say........listening to the songs on my labtop, cleansing my ears with music and lyrics.........looking out, i see dark clouds high above, in clusters, rain is what they will bring forth, a cold day ahead, hoping that person will have a good rest from the thoughts running in the mind.....feeling warm from inside, not being afraid of the coldness outside............

~~Waking to a better day is what i asked for, for that speacial you, to be able to feel what you want to feel, expressing what you truely, eagerly long for and treasuring it and having them returned to you, with or without my presence............feeling that my wish may come true soon,that one last wish, don't hestiate, stop preventing it now please ~~

Recently late nights seems a norm for me.......

Back home after speeding at 190km/her,fast yet not fast enough, fast enough to have my license revoked.

Having passed another day in life, was a great and meaning day though, realized i could still draw after such a long period of life without pencils. Although i spent half the day drawing, felt so satisfied and had a sense of accomplishment, seeing the piece of work i had done.

Finally, i had transferred all my previous photographs from my old mobile to my laptop, memories to be kept nicely, securely.

As for the change in life, felt like i'm not putting in much effort, however, it's still a change, as i seldom do as much as before anymore......Bit comforting at least.

~~Will close friendships be compromise and forsaken in time, in troubled times, will misunderstandings and arguments arise due to problems left unsolved....Trying hard to prevent self from getting deep in, pulling away hard from heart, but still being self, only two words to describe the feelings.........lost & miserably~~

"Yawns"....i'm feeling tired, yet i'm wide awake. Can't really focus on what i want to blog here, right at this very moment, total blank!

PS....Out from blog then. Had a nice day today, Huixian thks for the drawing session & the food provided =p. You also can draw well....need more focus and patience.JIA YOU!!

Time, 0113hrs, on a windy night, with the sky partly filled with pinkish clouds up above. Sitting down on a wooden platform, high above the sea and land, with the seabreeze blowing hard.....with a close friend by the side.

Knowing that you have problems on your mind, that you need an answer to the problems, that you need a shoulder to lean on, a warm hug from a friend, and the stars in the sky....

......Yet, there wasn't any stars to brighten your day or shine a light during your despair or even open up a path for you to take, a path to end all your troubles and thoughts, and make a chose you never will regret, that will lead you to your happy ever after.

......Being a friend i could provide you a warm hug, a shoulder to lean on.Yet, it's just not possible on my part, the weight on me is just too much to bring myself to do those simple things anymore.

~~I tried so hard in the beginning, the start, to hold back.....hold back cause of my promise, a promise i made and shall keep.Still in the finale, the end, i'm in the cirlce of uncertainties and misunderstandings. Should i be even holding or should i just let go, two saddam don't co-exist, mental thoughts are meant to be stronger....yet pushing the limits of my physical actions...~~

~~~~~Is what i'm doing now, till the day i lose the battle and admit defeat~~~~~

Having said what's needed to be said and what's not, i'm still fighting the unknown battle deep within me, an emotional battle or a physical battle.....It's my battle alone.

~~~~~When will this battle end, when will i love again, when will there be peace in me, when will you ever be happy and carefree as you are, being yourself, being myself, knowing whats worth the commitment and loving who you love most, with your heart & soul.....believing and trusting yourself that, you are you and what u want in life~~~~~

~~Amid all, hiding my inner self seems tiring but a challenge, worth the fight and tolerance~~

Returned to blog......

Recent days i felt like losing myself over matters,from mental to physical. Losing my own battle and digging a grave for myself, was what i felt like.

Till the day that i hestiated to even face that person, was the day i actually found myself once again. The day when my promise to that person was kept and fulfilled, was the day i felt a sign of relieve off my chest, a great burden of thoughts lifted and disolved into thin air.

Although i can still feel the existence of the thin air of thoughts and feelings, i rather things ended up in this finale then lose all that's great and meaningful to me.

Reasons are there for every little things we do, every small thoughts we have, every minor actions we take in our daily lifes and all the things that happen, in the blink of an eye. There are countless reasons for all matters, actions and thoughts or even feelings. But reasons are not excusses for running away from taking the right course of action.

Yet at times, i chose to run away and letting the regrets haunt me time after time, not knowing when i will learn to face them straight in my own reflection of cowardness. Learning to do so takes time and the strong determination required from myself.

Hanging on to the hope that one fine day or second that i will realise the true meaning of facing my own fears, being able to face myself strongly in front of my reflection.

Right now, i had made my decisons and taken my course of actions, may they be the right thing to do, may those decisions of mine don't disappoint me once again..........

Having lived 24years and 4days in total, learning to see others actions and their thoughts, made me a more tired, a less cheerful, a quieter, a less optimistic person. Even to the extent that wishes are no longer existed in my mind and heart, wishes are no longer important to wish for, thus not wishing for anything................

Glad to know that great friends still exist in my life, and those whom care about me, i thank them from the bottom of my heart, where that small section still exists...........

Tried to fulfill my last wish that i made, a few days back.....even to the extend of listening to the song you sent me and feeling the lyrics, to going to the place where i used to wait for you.........i had let go of you, and now you hope for a chance from me, a chance i know from the last day we last met, i will never allow. You are no longer the person in my heart, but the memories will forever be in my heart to stay. May you find a better partner in life and love him, love him the way that you hope to love me again. I'm not fortunate enough to recieve that love, the love that i always hope for when we are together. I do miss you.....

~~when will that last wish of mine be fulfilled will be a mystery to me~~

~~Funny how the mind and heart works, complex yet simple but a great mystery~~

Thanks all for the day at Marina South..including the cake...: )

Wen my mei....you r right,it's really cold cold de day for yur kor...shall we go for swings soon?
But see how.....lazy mei....keke

...............Anyway,i don't really felt like blogging...think i should just remain low profile.....better for everyone else out there.....like i said,friends are friends......but my friends are also human beings....LOL.....so it's best i just........

~~speak no evil see no evil hear no evil~~ Infatuation@Werkz@Misery

Btw anyone who needs a listening ear....they're still open for use.....other than tat...S.S.H.: )

When will my giddiness and blackouts go away.....waking up to daily giddiness & everytime i get up frm my rest to bathing washing my hair.........price of getting healthier....if there's a god,pls seal up my inner mind & heart........let me have some inner peace...rather than feeling so much.....just for a short period is enough...

Can Friends be Trusted...
Can Close Friends be Trusted......
Will Friends be there for u when u needed them......
Or will they be there when they needed u.....................
How much worth is friendship..........
..........Uncertainty is the answer...True..

.....Birthdates.....that significant in life?....maybe yes maybe no......
people celebrates birthdates......just for the sake of celebrating?Or cause of friendship,kinship....close friends?....u never know,i never knew!

Can't even get a friend out when u need them!....YS,if u ever see this...u tat tired??...Long,kopi with 1 friend cannot??...FOrget it.....uncertain if i really have friends man!...i should just disperse into thin air rite?....Hope i can,so no one will ever notice my exsistence............................................................hating myself for feeling this way!!!!Hating every minute & second of it.......

Back from JB trip with Haiquan and RongHua.....while going in,i missed stamping my passport at the Msia customs,and no one stopped me from passing.......felt weird and Haiquan told me i need to get it stamped else i will be an illegal immigrant........omg.....went back opposite direction to the counter and got it stamped.........lol.....

Btw, think i upset Haiquan cause of my careless act.........apologies to my from my heart.

Went in, whack full throttle.....though its exciting and fun......not very happy with the topend speed.....sigh....but it made me stop thinking for that moment of drag race.......while riding at the kind of speed....i suddenly thought about doing something or say....changing something things i do in life for the past few years.........and after the fun and excitement......we left JB for SG......

The queue for cars jammed up.....luckily mine was bike...went thru the customs and went to a coffee place to wait for them......wanted to call my friend...but think asleep already....so sat there waiting....when they reached,we sat there chitchatting about bikes and cars......RVF....should change to RVS!!!!......lol....

From that moment on.....i have embark on my journey of change.....good luck to myself.

Right now.....think i better go sleep rather than stay up.....it's part of the journey of change.....guys don't say i pig.....i got no choice!....ByzZz.....

.........can't take it le...my friend jio malaysia....yeah..........here i come!...

Filling my tummy with ice cold plain water now.....feel dehydrated still....almost one bottle gone....hmmm, is it the cigarettes i smoked?lol...guess not,most probably i'm just damn thirsty today....weird me...

Think i'm feeling weirder by the minute...just realised i had taken a picture of the stars and the moon sometime back....was admiring it just....hmm,tried editing it but,hey think i need to brush up on my editing skills......

Thoughts about studying,future work/career,family....just all started invading my vast but tiny mind now......i can't just keep seeing my friends studying,working for a better future and i'm here sitting at my labtop,blogging.......omg....am i lazy or am i just not bothered about it all.....

Was online back then with Ah Xian and Thomas.....hey guys!Didn't mean to just go offline......suddenly this thoughts just hit me hard in my face....sudden mood swing....recently i just can't seem to shake it off....apologies to u'll....

Sigh....i know i'm not the only person in this world who is facing problems or issues about work,studies or watever other issues.......but,hey guess i'm human too...and now that i had resigned from my previous job.........and i'm so fricking free now.....i actually feel lost,be it whether i'm home or out.......

Knowing that i may be doing food business with my dad is one thing......but i just don't see a bright future infront of me.....do i want to be an "O" level holder all my life??....frankly,i don't!!!!
Yet i am uncertain of what i want....be what i wish to pursue in studies.....to what i want to achieve.....other than giving my parents a good life when they grow old.......i'm quite uncertain about what i want.....be it work,studies,lifestyle,relationships.....funny how the brain works...sickening.......why am i even typing so much bullshit here......

Right now i'm listening to trance music.....hmmm......sounded so different the last time i hear them......supposed to be nice and smoothing yet now it so plain to me.......own a bike,a transport....yet no place to go......big question mark on my head.......intially taking bike licence so that i could go rounding to places.......yet now i'm lost even with a fricking 2A bike........arghhh....vexed vexed........hey Ming!Pls wake up and stop thinking thinking thinking,even though it's a Virgo's fucking trait.....why the hell i am made a Virgo Male!!!!??

I don't gain any things from my trait....nothing but unnessecary troubles and thoughts......

Went to Jurong Hill just now...alone...thought of getting some fresh air....fricking sky had to go dark red with those damn lightnings above my head.........saw an old couple up at the lookout tower......damn do they look loving at their age........wonder will i ever end up as they are.....why can't my parents be like them........fuck with the quarrels and nothing but quarrels.......can't poeple appreciate peace and quiet......don't understand.......23yrs of living and i don't understand it still..........just because they can't see eye to eye.....doesn't they have to scold vulagrities.......
.........Stayed there for awhile....left for Jurong Point to look at magazines and it had to rain!....stucked at JP....stared at my wife being drenched......went arcade hopping.....bored....that's why i hate walking around places alone.....so damn bored....soon it stop raining....wipe my wife and left for home....supposed to mit up with YS for kopi,but cancelled due to the fricking rain........sigh......reached hme.....and my brain did the walking by itself again......someone please knock me down when you see me riding on the road.....i will appreciate if you knock me dead.....not half dead k...........else no insurance claim........thanks in advance to the kind souls that will knock me.....

P.S. Out.....lousy night...

Hmm...proper english...let's see...

Woke up early today,awaken by my dad's loud knock on the door....~YawnZ~

Hmm, went to another nice place, with a great scenery and view!!....Jurong Hill,great view plus it's cooling up there....1st time i got to see the whole of Jurong port from that view....at night,wow....stayed there chatting chatting with Ah Xian till quite early in the morning.....haha.

The way up and down the place was fun.....will try riding up and down there sometime soon....lol

After that went makan breakfast at 651....think i miss that place....memories memories...they just don't go away...but nevertheless....there are also good and unforgetable memories!

Ah Xian....aka my buddy....haha.....hmm....glad to know you.
Still not that use to seeing you as my buddy.....you know buddy normally term for male buddy....lol...Nvm,im starting to think again....Slap!waky waky Mr Jim Tan!!

Had a swim.....bad swim,my burnt injuries got worse..sigh...few days ago,tot no blood.....yet today it started bleeding...dots......

Met up with Haiquan aka Master Wong after my swim....was near his hse so called him down to smoke and chat.....finally realised i wasted 5yrs of my precious time doing nothing,achieving nothing.......so fast you going to ROD from SPF....wow......getting old fast 2...

Guess i should really starting poundering of wat i should do with my life.....1st up study issue...sigh....man,im exactly the opposite of my frend now....lol

Finally finished tracing a design...though it should only take me 1 day but guess i was too slack...lazy me lazy ming!

Going out again....think there's a thumbtack on my butt.....figured i can't just sit still nowadays....

Back home earlier than usual sats.....lol,woke up early in the morning for a day at sentosa island...
What a wonderful day i had today at sentosa, together with my gd bro(Ah Teck) and my gd frend(Huixian),despite one bro who din reply or even bothered to call back.....nvm...nevertheless,we had a great sunny day!......Sun tanning, swimming soaking in the sea and taking photos of funny stuffs and artist pt of views......chatting and joking.......

Btw, think too much of the sun today, got sunburn already.....painful face and shoulders...lol...
Long time never been there....felt so relaxed and enjoying,,,nothing to bother my mind.....

Afterwhich, had our dinner at Suki Sushi....wow....nice nice....think i ate alot of sushi...so full,also quite some time didn't eat sushi ba....lol...

Then it's time to send Ah xian hme, while Ah teck went drinking session....his usual past time?LOL!....after sending Ah Xian hme.....my turn to ride hme....alone...bored,think i jus whack my bike again....reached hme less than 15mins....sian....uploaded the pictures of the day's taking....and now im finished blogging.....overall, a nice and wonderful sat at the beach....: )

......wonder when will i be going again....wonder wonder.....let's see in future then....

Im back to blog again.....few days din blog,reason simple.....i jus felt happy mentally...: )Thanks to someone.

No unhappy thoughts today too...heh...gona go start using my hands again,b4 my hands get rusty...long time since i last drew...time to start again....doing the things i like..

Today got burnt on my right leg.....damn the stupid exhaust endcan(on the left side of my bike)....kp forgeting....omg...luckily i din scream when it happened....else so PS....haha.Ok, 1 more scar added to my collection of scars....tks to old time injuries frm skating and etc....lol

Ok...lets start on my drawing then...Happy day Happy Thoughts Great evening to come!!!!!! : )))